Man Down Continued - Greg Davies ,Rik Mayall
by ElizaWildHeart
Summary: Follow Dan and Dad's adventures as they both fall for a waitress named Chanel. Contains sex. Disclaimer - Man Down was created and is owned by Greg Davies. I adore his work.
1. Chapter 1

The Scene – Monday morning in Shakira's cafe.

Dad and Dan are contemplating the breakfast menu and discussing the sex appeal of Chanel the new waitress. Chanel stands behind the cafe counter, applying red lipgloss and answering the phone.

Dad – Not bad is she Dan? Curvaceous...

Dan – Dad, behave yourself. I don't want a scene today.

Chanel notices them and approaches the table, flicking her long blonde hair seductively. Dan spots the name tag on her uniform.

Dan – Hello Chanel. I'm Dan. Can I have an omelette with chips please.

Chanel turns her attention to Dan's dad.

And you Sir?

Dad - *cocks eyebrow suggestively*

Can I have you for breakfast Babydoll? I think you should drop your panties right now because Daddy Bear's got a woodie in his pocket, and I need you right now.

Chanel - *smirking*

Much as I'd love to Daddy Bear, you have to stick to the menu. *wink*

Dad – *bemused smile*

Mmmmmmm, Chanel you naughty girl.

Dan – Ugh, Dad, disgusting. Honestly I can't take you anywhere can I? What would Mum think of all this?

Dad – Shut up you little prick. Mum's away.

Dan – So that justifies your behaviour does it?

Dad – Chanel I will have two of your scrumptious eggs, poached please.

Chanel - And to drink?

Dan – Two coffees please Chanel.

Chanel bounces off to the kitchen.

Dad – *wipes lips with handkerchief*

I think she really likes you Dan.

Dan - *incredulous*

Get real Dad. You're freaking her out. Only in my dreams would I get lucky with her.

Dad – That's settled then. She's all mine for the taking.

Dan – Dream on, old man. She won't look twice at a cardigan wearing fool.

Dad – Son, Woodie here will be enjoying some hardcore suckage later. Watch and learn.

Dan - *dry- retching*

That's me off breakfast. Thanks Dad.

What the hell are you doing?

Dad removes the cardigan and swaggers over to the kitchen with a wicked grin on his face.

Dad – Chanel, where's Shakira today?

Chanel – It's her day off. Come here and give me a hand will you?

Dad – I'll give you more than a hand my dear!

Chanel giggles.

Dad – Put down that egg box and come here.

Every cell in Chanel's body was buzzing with longing and desire. Dad pulled her close.

Dad – I want to touch you and taste you Chanel.

One hand stroked her hair back from her face while his other hand travelled up her leg.

Chanel breathed heavily into his neck.

Dad - *whispers in her ear, his hair stroking her face*

Can you imagine my firm cock inside you right now? His fingers stroked her wet clit over and over as he slammed her back against the counter, kissing her passionately.

Pulling out his finger, he licks it, smiles and walks to the door.

Ooh... That made me really hungry. I'll go back to my seat and let you start cooking.

Chanel – OK Daddy Bear

*winks and cracks eggs into frying pan*

Dad walks back to his table.

Dan – What have you been up to now Dad?

Dad – I just had a really good snog with sexy Chanel.

Dan – You disgust me. I hope she spits in your breakfast.

Dad - *wiggles eyebrows* So do I Son!


	2. Chapter 2

Opening my sleepy eyes I looked around. Oh yes, I had spent the night at Dan's house. I look across the bed. He had gone. As first dates went it had been okay, but I think Dan must have been disappointed that I had gotten drunk and passed out in his bed. Come to think of it I don't remember getting undressed last night either...hmmm. Pulling on a t-shirt and knickers I started searching the house for Dan. As I walked down the stairs in bare feet I heard a noise. I looked down and saw Dan's dad vacuuming the hall carpet wearing a frilly apron, blue shirt and shorts.

"Good Morning Chanel. Did you sleep well?" Oh God, he was stood there fluttering his eyelashes at me. His delicious lips were curling into that wicked seductive smile.

"I did thanks," I replied, smiling back. He turned off the hoover, removed his apron and sat down on the sofa, grabbing a bar of chocolate from the coffee table. "Break me off a bit," I asked cheekily. He broke off a square and offered it to me in his upturned hand. The naughty smile still on his face.

I walked towards him, noticing the beard had gone – he was clean shaven. Morning sunlight danced across his skin, making his blue eyes sparkle. In that perfect shining moment he looked so devilishly handsome. I took the square of chocolate and put it down on the table. Before I knew what I was doing my warm fingertips were running through his hair, stroking his face, the nape of his beautiful neck. With a smile of surprise he grabbed the front hem of my t shirt, pulling me down into his lap. He kissed me deeply. Slow, delicious chocolate-flavoured kisses. I was melting into him. My face pressed against his striped blue shirt as he reached down into the back of my pink lace knickers. He was squeezing my bum, and then, to my surprise his fingers were inside me circling around my clit, finger fucking me. I gasped with pleasure. By now his cock was bulging out of his shorts, pressing into my leg, and he kissed me hard on the mouth once more.

Bang! The kitchen door slammed shut. Dan was back and he had seen us.

"Dad, what are you playing at?" He snarled angrily.

"I'm playing with Chanel. She's my bird now Dan," Dad replied cockily.

"Fuck off - the pair of you, see if I care," spat Dan turning to go to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

Dad smiled. "That's my boy! Who knows where he got that language from?"

"He got it from his sexy father," I replied laughing.

As we kissed again, he pulled me to my feet and threw me over his shoulder, smacking my bum in the process.

"I'm gonna sort you out Chanel," he grunted as he carried me into the bathroom.

He sat me down on the side of a large Jacuzzi bath, turning on the taps. "I'm fucking you in here," he said, winking. "Wait a mo, I'll find some wine and smokes."

When he returned the bath was full. I had taken off my clothes and sunk down deep into the bubbles. He poured warm water down my back and I closed my eyes blissfully. I heard a loud squelch and opened my eyes. He was squeezing Bergamot and Honey soap across my breasts, making a heart shaped pattern. He reached down and rubbed the soap into my nipples, before squeezing both my breasts with his hands. He kissed my shoulders, my nipples, my lips. When he stood up he unbuttoned his shirt. I unfastened his belt and unzipped his shorts, pulling down his white Calvin Klein's. I was on my knees in the bath now, his enormous throbbing erection in my mouth. I sucked him for a tease, as he groaned in pleasure.

"Stop, stop, stop, let me in," he said as he climbed into the bath. His cock was hard and the water was lapping at his legs in waves. He leant over me, kissing my brow. I looked into the wild blueness of his eyes as he slid deep inside me, hearing the splashes of water mixed with the pleasurable sensations of our bodies – hot and sticky against each other.

"I've been dreaming about you Chanel, ever since we met last week. Turn over Chanel," he whispered into my ear. I bent over on all fours with a swish of soapy water. The jets pumped water over us in streams as he clasped my hips with his hands, my vagina swallowing his enormous thrusting cock. He pounded in and out, pushing himself deep inside me in endless fluid motion. I gripped the sides of the bath as waves of water splashed between my legs. The bath was dripping onto the floor, overflowing at the edges. I was blinded by water splashing into my eyes, spilling down my face. We were both laughing at the mess like a pair of naughty children, when he turned me round, the look of dreamy lust in his smoky blue eyes, the blush of passion on his cheeks. "You drive me crazy Chanel." The air was ringing out with my screams as we approached climax.

Until... a whining voice called out from the next room. "Can you keep the noise down in there. I'm trying to watch Ben Elton. And Dad, it's not fair- you fucking my girl."

"I can't help it if your girlfriend finds me irresistible, can I?" said Dad. "It's my intoxicating masculinity."

"Oh, oh, ohhhhhhhhh," I reached a noisy climax, mid conversation, flinging my arms around his neck, exhaling.

"Oh for fucks sake Chanel, you are a dirty slut and Dad I am never speaking to you again. I'm leaving."

"Don't get your knickers in a twist son, it's only sex. Ha Ha... if you need any tips just ask."

"Fuck you old man." Dan said as he left the house.

I laid back in Dad's arms as he flicked open his Zippo lighter and lit a cigarette. Smoke rings wobbled up into the warm air, and I watched with amusement as he laid there in the bath, licking his teeth like a mega-villain. The cigarette dangled from his lips as he stretched back, his arms resting behind his head. He was so relaxed. I took the cigarette and laid it in the soap dish. He flashed me a lazy smile and slicked back his hair with his hand. He was going to get me into a whole world of trouble, I just knew it. We raised our wine glasses together with a clink.

"To fucking," he said.

"To fucking," I replied.

"Cheers."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 (Orally Fixated)

Pleasure seekers Chanel and Dad clinked their glasses mid-air. But what was that sound? Voices were growing louder and louder, and then they heard footsteps on creaky floor boards. Slamming down his wine glass Dad leapt from the bath trailing water everywhere.

"It's the wife, Chanel. Get dressed QUICK!" whispered Dad.

Frantically they scrambled for their clothes. Seconds later the bathroom door opened with a squeak. It _was _Mum. Can you picture the scene? Dad's shirt completely unbuttoned, and Chanel stood on a bath mat in just Dan's t shirt and very wet knickers.

"What the hell is going on?" screamed Mum. Chanel and Dad flashed her big innocent smiles.

"Hello my love, I was just helping Chanel clean the bathroom." Mum wasn't convinced. Would you be?

Mum looked around and noticed a number of things.

Bruises on Dad

Wet bodies

The full bath

And the wine glasses in the corner.

Mum flew into a terrible rage and started hitting Dad with her tan leather handbag. She wasn't that fragile – she was a strong old lady. "You cheating, lying snake."

Chanel saw how angry Mum was and ran from the house as fast as she could. "Chanel, wait!" called Dad. What a prick. He made himself look even more guilty.

So, Mum went home, and calmed herself down with the help of some alcohol. Later, after much pleading from Dad, crouched in front of the letterbox, Mum let him in to talk things over. People were staring! Once inside Dad convinced her that nothing had actually happened, since Dan was home watching a dvd at the time. He was very convincing.

The next day Dad took another chance. Mum had a book club arranged at her friends' house and he had at least three hours to himself. Dad wasted no time in ringing Chanel and asking her to hot foot over, telling her to wear something sexy.

Thirty minutes later Dad heard the sound of a car parking on the drive way, followed by a knock at the door. Dad opened the door. Chanel was wearing a French Maid's outfit, probably a size too small, and holding a feather duster in her right hand. Dad smoothed back his hair, grinning from ear to ear. "Can I bend you over, right now?" he joked. His eyes were resting on Chanel's industrial cleavage, her long stockinged legs and her juicy red lips.

"Take me and do what you want," said Chanel, tickling Dad between his legs with the duster.

"Ooh – la-la," said Dad getting all hot and bothered.

Chanel walked in to the sitting room and swung her bag down from her shoulder. One by one she removed her collection of sex toys, lining them up on the table.

This is what she had.

A micro-penis shaped vibrator

A remote controlled strap on butterfly

A chocolate penis

A whip

A ribbed cock ring

Coconut Body Butter

"Come on Daddy, fulfil my fantasies," she whispered softly into his ear. Dad took a deep breath.

"Let's go somewhere we can play," he suggested, indicating the back garden. He had pre-lit candles and lanterns, and laid out giant cushions on the lawn. "We'll get the sex toys later, if we need them. Just come here you naughty vixen."

Without hesitation Chanel kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot out to the garden, holding Dad's hand. The grass was soft beneath her feet - it was heavenly. Looking up she saw that ripe fruit was hanging from the tree. Dad plunged his lips onto hers and savoured the feel of her moist mouth. His hands played with her large breasts through the silk of her dress. He untied the white corset ribbons and her breasts spilled out, firm and round. He sucked and squeezed, the tip of his tongue on her nipple made every cell in her body light up like a trillion light bulbs. With his left hand Dad found Chanel's clit and strummed it slo-mo until she cried tears of joy. Filled with yearning he told her that he loved her, and kissed the back of her neck. In the soft evening air Chanel's head was spinning. She exhaled, "I love you too."

Sinking to her knees Chanel pulled down Dad's jeans and took his erect cock into her mouth. Deeper and deeper she went. Her lips slid up and down his shaft her right hand pumping. Dad was lost in a swirling mass of pleasure. She was like a blast of lightening down there. Dad's hands were on Chanel's head as her lips sucked in perfect time, pumping and pumping until a tsunami of hot cum filled Chanel's open mouth. Swoosh, splash, it dripped down her chin, down her breasts, before dripping onto the grass. Laughing Dad rubbed it in to Chanel's breasts with his cock, before licking it off and swallowing it. Chanel was very impressed at this. She kissed his lips, softly at first, and then pulling him in close. The kiss deepened to two seething sticky tongues, until his breath was her breath, his spunk was her spunk, his sweat was her sweat, his cologne was her cologne.

Chanel laid down on her back and wrapped her legs around Dad's neck, pulling him down towards her. Dad's breath was hot and heavy now as he pulled aside her g string and stroked the smooth lips of her vagina. With his fingers in position he teased her until she begged for more. He rolled his tongue over and over, he licked, back and forth, back and forth, he hummed and sucked her clit, he fucked her with his tongue. Chanel was lost in the twirls of his tongue. She looked up at the sky full of stars and felt a Zen-like moment. She ran her fingers through Dad's mane of shoulder length hair as she felt hot heaving waves of pleasure flush her cheeks, her chest, her legs. She surrendered to the colossal orgasm, as it came, with Dad holding her at the hips, he came up for air, his eyes piercingly direct in the moonlight. He watched her climax, his heart melting with overwhelming love for her. He felt young again!

His hands cupped her face and the look in his eyes said it all.

"Sshh." Chanel put her finger to his lips and was lost in his loving gaze. Those eyes held the sparkliest embodiment of every naughty thought he possessed. His lips, the wickedest, curling into a smile of demonic proportions.

Time flew as they laid in each others arms, holding hands and looking at the night sky. But eventually Dad came back to reality. Looking at his watch he discovered Mum would be back with Dan at any moment. "Let's go inside Chanel."

Dad helped Chanel pull up her dress which was quite a feat, squashing her breasts back inside and tying up the ribbons – but he enjoyed every moment as you can imagine. In the sitting room Chanel packed away her sex toys, joking that he was the best toy that she had ever had. Dad laughed, he loved it. That was until he heard the key in the lock. Holy fuck they were back.

Dan entered the room first, his face a mixture of shock and repulsion. He looked like he might throw up then and there. He was mortified. He folded his arms in his typical sulky pose and raised his eyebrows at Dad. Mum staggered in, tipsy and merry. "Oh, hello Chanel, dear, Dan was hoping to see you again," hiccupped Mum.

"Go on Dan, give her a big kiss," said Mum. Dan grimaced as he knew he had no choice now.

Dad wiggled his eyebrow, "Go on son, don't be shy." Dan kissed Chanel until he was so horny that his anger just melted away. Mum wished everyone goodnight and went straight to bed. In a bold move Dan reached under Chanel's dress, lifted up the back exposing her wet g string and her plump glistening bum. He ran his hands over those cheeks and slipped his middle finger under the string. I mean why the hell not? This was his dream come true. She might be Dad's slut, but she was sexy as fuck. Dad flew into a jealous rage as he saw this. He tore Dan and Chanel apart. "Go home Chanel," he thundered, his eyes flashing angrily. Confused and upset Chanel left the house, climbed into her Mini and drove home. Meanwhile Dad and Dan wrestled each other like a pair of children. Dad had Dan straddled (don't ask how!) and punched him repeatedly in the face. (It came naturally)

"Fuck you, ouch! Dad I am NOT going to hit you back, so get off me." Dad ignored this and pulled up Dan's jumper and pinched his nipples. "Aaaaaaah, you twisted old fuck," said Dan as he rolled over and limped out the door to his car.

Dad watched Dan drive away, a manic glint in his eyes. 'Ha, ha, ha,' he laughed to himself - what a night! Now I wonder if Mum is up for some fun...


End file.
